In the garage is a beast. She’s about 228 inches long. My goodness do I love her. I like trucks, big old trucks. Fantasizing about big trucks right now. Trucksssssssss. Love em. Love trucks. Oh shoot, phones ringing. Hello? Oh! Just trucks calling my phone again. Happens often. You wanna see my truck?
Follow me into the garage. Don’t be shy now! I’m no weirdo! Ok yes, “Follow me into the garage” could have strange connotations but only if the lens you held to it was that of a demented mind! Live a little! There ya go! Baby steps. Just keep swimming as that neurotic little shit from Finding Nemo would say! Woohoooo! You’ve arrived in my garage. Painted blue who are you! That’s my truck. She’s blue. Her name is Avril Ravine. More facts about my truck: She doesn’t like bullshittin’ or when you’re pulling her leg. She likes driving wild. She likes diesel and petroleum. She likes Iron Maiden, but their more obscure stuff. Don’t get her wrong though. She is no one trick pony. In capacities, she’s a real emotional and empathetic creature too. She likes movies with amicable representation for marginalized communities, and loves foreign films with no subtitles.
Where are you heading? Get your greasy behind back over here I got more stuff to show you! What’s that? You’re hungry? Hah! Check this out. Inside of Avril’s glove compartment is a Optimal Automatics 3PGM Autodoner 35 LB. Capacity Gas Vertical Broiler & Rotisserie that chefs up hot Rotisserie chicken regardless of if the vehicle is on or not. Here! Have some chicken. Good, no? No, no, eat more! I insist! You don’t want it? You must be vegetarian? Vegan? Oh to hell with you all! Give me that chicken! Christ this is good! Oh yeah! Fresh Rotisserie chicken!
Where do you think you’re going? Bring those two tight hot dog buns you got on that backside over here! You thought you could leave without seeing the engine? Look at that puppy! I almost hear it barking. That thing can pull about 700 horses. Can you even count that high? Boy do I love this beast! In two weeks time, there will be a truck convention right in the city square! Can you believe that? They letting us truckers into the city? Well I don’t know what you’ll be up to then but it sure wouldn’t hurt seeing that round mound you got downtown in the vicinity! Oh please don’t be naive, I’d say that to anyone! Alright, alright, go on and get out of here before I change my mind! Doesn’t hurt seeing you leave either!